The Tradition of Traditions

Have you ever wondered why you follow the same ritual and behaviours during the same celebrations or events?  How did they start? Where did they come from? Is there a bigger meaning behind them? Or, did it just start as a bit of fun and you’ve kept doing it?

In Australia we’ve just had our Christmas break where all Australian’s have a couple of public holidays and days off from work – Christmas Day and Boxing Day.  Even though these days started out in Australia as religious and historical celebrations, having been originally settled by the British the settlers bought their traditions with them, all Australians now have these days off regardless of their religion.  Interestingly, because Australia is now so diverse, we have also taken on a number of the celebrations of other cultural traditions such as Chinese New Year, the Hindu tradition of the Holi Festival (Festival of Colours), Greek Orthodox Easter, St Patrick’s Day, Ramadan, Diwali, ANZAC Day, Remembrance day and a host of others.  Each one of these days involves tradition, thought, observance and meaning.

When you move away from the initiation of these traditions, either by distance or time, things invariably change. For example:

In Australia our Christmas lunch and dinner now traditionally has a large portion of prawns, crayfish, lobster and other forms of cold shellfish and seafood.

Some of the reasons – we are surrounded by the best seafood in the world; it is invariably 30⁰ – 37⁰ C (that’s 85⁰ – 100⁰ F) on Christmas Day; with so many different nationalities of Christians each has bought their own traditional dishes with them (eg. Polish, Croatian, Filipino, Samoan, just to name a few); and we spend a lot of time outside in our summer.

But traditions are not always the large things that are part of a whole culture or large group.  I was discussing with friends our family traditions for Christmas day and one was that Dad always had to cook ham and eggs for breakfast and then we could open presents.  Very simple but it always started our day as a family.

One of the other traditions my family had was camping.  Our camping season always began on a long weekend in October (a weekend with a public holiday attached so we had 3 days off) and finished with Easter the following year. Our group of families spent time camping by the beach fishing, swimming, playing beach cricket and cooking that just caught freshest of fresh fish on an open fire.

Another of the very Aust-idiosyncratic traditions is that if you can’t make it to Sydney for New Years Eve you watch the event on TV.  It’s in the same vane as the Ball dropping in Times Square or Big Ben striking 12.  Most of us have the goal of watching the event live at least once, and even better would be being on the bay watching.  I have to say being out on the water in Sydney Harbour at midnight is amazing.  The atmosphere of excitement counting in a new year, celebrating with friends, the music, the fireworks and being part of thousands of people all just enjoying the moment is an incredible feeling.  So much more than just being at a party.

Traditions can be huge, like New Years Eve, or as simple as the way you say hello with a kiss on each cheek.

Schools have traditions at graduations. Workplaces have traditions and rituals for new employees and for retirees.  Weddings are full of traditions.  Did you know that the tradition of placing the groom on the right started because the groom needed to keep his sword arm free to protect his bride? And that one started back in the 1300’s.

Do you have traditions in your family?  How did they start?

You may find that many of the things you do and take for granted, the prayers you say, the way you play certain games, even the songs that you habitually sing at Christmas time started with someone in your family and you’ve just kept doing the same thing.  Possibly because it feels good, it has a certain meaning for you, or simply because it’s what you’ve always done.

Traditions can be wonderful for the right reasons however, if they are destructive you don’t have to follow the other sheep.

What traditions do you follow? What traditions would you like to change?

 

The 5 most important reasons friends are….

Friends are important for so many reasons that you lose count at times. And for every reason that you can come up with, your best friend will probably come up with five different reasons.

Just recently I had a situation where I needed some help to get to and from hospital and to make sure that I was able to have everything sorted when I got home again.  When you’re living on your own, or if you are the person responsible for others such as children or siblings, there are times that you need to reach out no matter how independent you normally are.

However, friendship isn’t only about helping you in times of need, friendship is also about being there with you to enjoy the good times.

The 5 most important reasons for friends (at the moment)….

1. To help you celebrate the wonderful times you’re having as the weather changes and brings in the next season.  You know that you’ve spent time enjoying each others company and have made each other laugh and enjoy life.
2. To talk with so that you can think things through to come up with the right answer for you at that point of time.  It might not be the right answer forever, but for now, it ticks all the boxes.
3. To make your life a little easier even though you know that you could have done it on your own.  Friends will help you lighten the load so you can have more time to spend together and so you can enjoy the time.  They’ll help you with the housework or shopping for that new outfit or car just for the pleasure of your company.
4. They will go beyond what you ask at times just because they know that the outcome is out of your hands or that it is something that you weren’t expecting.  They’ll stay that extra 10 minutes or lend you that extra $50 when you find that perfect thing because they know that you would do the same for them.
5. They will worry about you and make sure they know that you’re doing okay.  They’ll check in with you, even if it’s just a quick text, so they can breathe that deep sigh that says “all might not be right with the world but, we’re both still here so we’re doing alright”

You don’t have to be in need for friends to be important however, you know real friends will be there when you do.

Have you said thank you to your friends recently, just for being your friend?

If you enjoyed this post, please share it! Who knows, maybe you’ll make someone else’s day a little happier!

5 Ways to Feel More Connected

Social media is killing our ability to be social.  Here are 5 simple ways that you can stay connected with those around you as well as supporting and teaching our children that they need to make the effort now, not once they feel alone.

1.  Pay attention to the little things.

Pay attention to the little things around you.  Be mindful and aware of where you are, how you’re feeling and who else is around you.  We can be in the most comfortable and best of places that allow us to feel calm, energised, reinvigorated and thoughtful or simply just ‘be’ – but we need to stop and allow ourselves to feel. Great moments do happen, although we tend to take them for granted or are simply too preoccupied to notice.

2.  Make a conscious effort to engage routinely with family and friends.
Great connection takes being there in the moment. Attending to, being with, and really listening to the people we love.

3.  Make mental notes to spend more time with the people and places that make you feel great.
Life’s bad moments tend to be more attention grabbing, so make an effort to spend more time with the people, things and in the places that give your mind and body peace and pleasure.  Also give out to others what you want to receive – the attention, the praise and the friendship.

4.  Stop trying to change others to suit your ideas.
You can only ever be responsible for your own behaviour and nobody can change it except you.  The same goes for others.  Instead, leave others to change their own behaviours and find the place and be with the people where you shine and feel good.

5.  Pay it forward. 
Feeling connected is a habit and one that we can teach others, particularly our children.  One way to nurture that habit is by starting paying it forward.  Start while your children are young.  Teach them to appreciate and connect.

 

Once you’ve started to really be connected again social media will just be an added bonus.

An update on life…

With the bonus of a day off from the average weekday I decided that I needed to do what I have unconsciously put aside as being a mundane part of professional work/business existence….. I updated my on-line profile.

Now I’ve probably triggered moans and groans from a number of you because you haven’t kept yours up to date recently either.  And I’ve got to say, that it really isn’t something I think about a lot because my working life definitely did not start in the digital age!  But I have learned a few things over the years, like taking advantage of everyone elses electronic and digital prowess to keep up with what’s going on in my little patch of life.

I was recently at an Expo where I had some very interesting conversations with people from all walks of life that in some way have a professional intersection with my own.  Our discussions allowed for some really interesting “aha!” moments where they may have had the answer about something I had been pondering, or it may have been just a serendipitous moment that allowed us to explore each others interests and life.  Which ever it was, for those people I felt I had a good connection and rapport of mind and I wanted to be able to tap them on the shoulder again should our need or interest cross paths again.

Isn’t the internet wonderful for that?!?

As I was on one of the “normal” professional sites connecting with my peers, it struck me that if anyone was to read my profile it really wasn’t a good reflection of what I was currently really interested in.  And given, even as my main focus on people and learning hadn’t really changed, the off-shoots and directions around the current interest may be dramatically different and it wasn’t really coming through.

For example, I have recently been focusing my learning on emotional intelligence and how to support and promote how important it is to know and understand yourself.  To that end, I have produced and published two Learning Programs.  There was nothing in my digital life that even mentioned all that learning and work I had achieved.

I also wanted to promote some of the writing that I love to do, such as this blog.  There was really nothing in my profile that said I could even string two words together!  One could assume that having done a Masters Degree at University that I had some level of competence around the written word, but you know what they say… never assume anything!

One of the other things that struck me as I was updating and re-arranging was …  Wow, I’ve done a lot!

I suspect that there are a few of you out there like me that until you see it written in front of you it’s just ‘life’.  Life is what it is.  If you’re lucky you get to follow your interests and meet some amazing people along the way.  I have.  That doesn’t mean to say that it’s all been a bed of roses though.  Well in actual fact it does… it looks pretty from a distance but there have been quite a few thorns in there just to remind me not to get too complacent.

I have gone down multiple career paths, as well as a few rabbit holes, not necessarily looking for anything in particular but, I think, to find what I am most  interested in or want to challenge myself with at that time.  Some of those things have turned out exceptionally well and others haven’t.  I’ve done a lot of learning along the way, both personal and professional, and I’ve also made quite a few wrong turns that in hindsight were disastrous (isn’t hindsight wonderful!).  However, as long as I learned from my mistakes I was okay.  Can’t say I landed on my feet every time either, but I was okay.

Isn’t life amazing when you can move around and alter things to fit, explore or just be, if you really put your mind to it.  I had to be reminded of that again yesterday because just for a moment there I had forgotten.

A friend if mine once told me that one of the things that he admires and has seen me do a number of times was to create a new life.  I think that was his way of saying nicely “to pick up the pieces and start all over again”.  And I have.  And I probably will continue to do it.  And probably from all sorts of different starting points – a different place/time/perspective every time.  And that’s okay!

As long as we all keep reflecting on where we’ve been, what we’ve learned and updating our plans, we’re okay.  Life’s like that.  You get out of it what you put in.

I thoroughly recommend you ‘update’ your digital life.  You tend to gain some good perspective.